I was always that child that never wanted to grow up. I never wanted to leave my childhood behind. My dream was to live with Wendy, Peter, and my dad forever in Neverland. Part of that definitely had to do with my childhood being stripped from me at an excessively young age, desperately trying to hold on to what was left of it, but it’s also because there is nothing more free than when you’re a child. No bills, no responsibilities, no social issues. All you need to worry about when you’re a kid is when you get to go play outside next, what fantasy story you get to read before bedtime and if you get to have ice cream after dinner.
Now that I’m an adult and I could have ice cream for dinner if I wanted to, I realize that a lot of what I’ve done for myself since leaving my childhood, is repairing and healing that version of me. Nurturing the young mind that has now developed into the one I have now, and constantly finding the next opportunity to let her out. I asked my dad once “When did you start to feel like an adult?” and his response was “I never really did. I did things that ‘adults’ do and checked those boxes, but there was never an ‘a-ha’ moment that made me feel like an adult; I’m just a big kid”, and I think about that quite often. I’m an adult, but I don’t wanna be a grown up.
Why wouldn’t we want to be kids forever? At least kids at heart!! The imagination I had as a kid, the zest for life, giggling at everything I find silly or cute, the love I had in my heart, the wonder, none of that has gone away, it’s only gotten stronger as I’ve gotten older. The “boxes” of adulthood for me personally are checked: the bills are paid with the money I make, my health is in my own hands, my future is reliant on me and my work ethic, I get my oil changed! Why on earth would I let my heart face the weight of the world when I have control over it now as an adult when I didn’t as a child? My inner child deserves to be not only healed, but integrated in my adult life.
I truly believe in doing more things that feel good for your inner child and keeping that mindset of purity and joy. Way too often I see folks my age (which is still so young) and older, get so bogged down by work or responsibilities that they forget that we get one life. One singular life in these bodies, these minds, with these hearts. You can do literally anything you want with it. Who cares if something isn’t “practical” or if it seems “too juvenile”. In my opinion, if you have a mature mindset and you handle your adult problems with an adult brain, what is the point of restraining your happiness and smiles?
Now when I say all of this, I don’t mean go out into the world and be an irresponsible weirdo wreaking havoc on society. I mean think about what kinds of activities you used to do as a child: jump on a trampoline, eat mac n' cheese and dinosaur nuggets for dinner, play mermaids in the pool, ride your bike, make a fort out of blankets and pillows, build with legos, paint freely, make a makeshift slip n slide in your backyard, make art with sidewalk chalk, or some other unique, niche thing you were into doing as a kid (the list could go on forever), and GO DO THOSE THINGS. And guess what!! Now that you’re an adult, you can get even more creative, spend whatever money you want, make all of those activities much more intricate to your liking now! If there’s a toy your parents never let you have as a kid, go out and get it. Or a theme park you couldn’t go to, or a show you never watched because you weren’t allowed. I’m officially saying: you’re allowed to now.
Our inner child is also not just us at 3 or 4 years old. Our childhoods include our 13 year old self, our 17 year old self, our 10 year old self. Honestly, all the up until we are 25 years old and our frontal lobes finally fully develop. The kid versions of each and every one of us lives inside our souls. There’s no mile marker you hit that says “as of today, you are no longer allowed to be a kid”. Too often our personal success in life is judged by how much money we make, how "together" we look to others. I'm here to reassure you, it's no one's business. If you are happy, let yourself be happy. The negatives and struggles this world tends to throw at us don't deserve all our energy. Keep that childlike wonder and that optimistic gleam in your eyes. Hold onto your thirst for adventure and your youthful resilience. Your 89 year old self will thank you.
Now that you’ve read my rant, go do something that you’re inner child would love.
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