At this point in my personal experience on this Earth, there seems to be no time more urgent than being in your 20s. Urgency. A toxic concept.
I am the first person to advise anyone I’ve ever met that you are always at the right place at the right time, no matter the circumstances. There is no place else you could be for everything to work out in your favor, even if you can’t see it at the moment. As we get older and experience the weight of the world more and more, there becomes this sense of urgency as if we’re “running out of time”. You’re not running out of time, simply because you are right where you’re supposed to be.
I’ve been blessed with a childlike mindset that I’ve never let go of. Maybe it’s a trauma response, some call it naivety. I call it bliss. I’ve battled my mindset through different phases of life, with different struggles that life has presented. Bargaining with fate by my own regard or out-of-control situations. But the bottom line is always the same: Control is subjective. As much as we think we may have control over the world around us, we simply do not. We do, however, have complete control over our own minds and sense of self.
This sense of urgency is straight from the ego. It’s considered a trauma response to some regard, out of the fear of things not working out or abandonment. Regardless of area of life: relationships, friendships, career, money coming in or out, family building, adding or subtracting things from your life. All of these topics can evoke the fear that it won’t work out, causing anxiety and feeling the sense of not being in control. Your higher self and your soul do not have a concept of time and space. Your ego does, simply because it is built from the physical realm of your human experience. Keep in mind that the term “ego” does not equate to an automatic negative concept, as it so often gets a bad rap. Our egos are necessary to complete our soul; one cannot exist without the other. It only becomes toxic for yourself and the people around you when we let our egos inflate and in turn, let our personalities develop around a sense of entitlement. Nonetheless, your ego keeps you grounded in reality.
I am one who has a tendency to live “in the clouds”, with an interesting relationship to the concept of time. Recently, I have developed this sense of urgency that feels unfamiliar to me. It’s transpired in a way of anxiety that has proven frustrating to my day-to-day sense of self-proclaimed normalcy. Because I have never experienced these daily butterflies in my stomach, I’ve been doing some self reflection on what may have sparked this. Is it that my frontal lobe is finally developed? Unreleased trauma resurfacing? Finally feeling safe enough to feel my feelings after over a decade of a frozen nervous system? I’ve personally related to all of these notions, but can also correlate them all to a sense of urgency.
Over the past month, I’ve been consistently reminding myself that what’s truly mine cannot be taken from me. What’s truly safe will remain that way. And there is nothing placed in front of me that I am not capable of tackling. I trust that I have myself, my love, and my mind that it will always be okay.
So here I am reminding you and I both: Breathe. Time is not running out. There is no problem too big to solve. There is nowhere else you’re supposed to be. People, jobs, material items will leave your life without your control: let them. They will enter into your life without your control: you’re ready. What’s meant for you will always find you and what’s not will do you a favor and remove itself and show you exactly why it’s not meant for you. And that. is. okay. I promise, you will be okay, even if you aren’t right now, in due time. Relax your ego and calm your mind.
As always, I’m sending you love.
Yorumlar