The phenomenon of comparison is one of the most inconsiderate tricks the brain will play on you. It’s such a common, easy habit to form when you’re growing through life. It seems to go through shelf lives as you get older. When you’re a kid, there’s an innocence around comparison. Comparing coloring books, toys, and light up shoes. It’s almost a state of just exchanging information and appreciation. Then as you get older, it turns to self-deprecating comparison. When you and all your friends hit puberty at different ages, or you realize that your friends’ parents buy them the clothes or accessories your parents won’t. Graduating high school, picking colleges or choosing not to go, going through college-age years, and entering adult life. So much more room to compare and so much you get compared to by other people! It is true what they say: comparison is the thief of joy.
Comparison and Jealousy are best buds. They love hanging out together, all wrapped up in one, doing an Irish jig and their secret handshake in your noggin. It’s quite rude that they’re so comfortable together making you, the host, feel like there’s competition everywhere. You see, the reason Comparison and Jealousy are such good pals is because they’ve bonded over the hate of their poor, sad, friend, Insecurity. Insecurity is there, trying to hide and escape the spotlight, and the other two just love to bring all the attention and embarrassment to him. Therefore, due to Comparison and Jealousy’s shenanigans, Insecurity becomes the headlining show every time a triggering situation arises. A secret they don’t want you to know? There’s actually no competition.
Developing a sense of self in a world of social media and fast paced trends is a scary thought (my heart goes out to the teenagers and parents raising kids in this day and age). Watching all these people around you achieve things you’ve dreamed of before you, getting financially stable more quickly, appearing to have all their affairs in order; it’s almost impossible not to compare! Keep reminding yourself of one simple thing: You are right where you’re supposed to be. 24/7. 365. Your journey is yours, and yours alone. What other people have is none of your business!
I hate to break it to you, but there will always be someone more talented than you. There will always be someone smarter, savvier, prettier, more like-able, more followers, anything! What someone else has, does not inherently take away what you have, nor does it diminish your own light; if you don’t let it. Be in your world, don’t focus on anyone else’s. If you find yourself spending your energy wishing you had something that someone else does and it brings a sort of resentment to your own reality, take all that energy you’re putting towards someone else and focus it back to you. Be where you’re at. Because you won’t be right here forever. Who knows, you might miss this someday! Try to reframe your perspective to get back to a full circle moment of viewing comparison like we did when we were kids: exchanging information and appreciation. I promise, there’s room for everyone in this world!
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